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Battling with nausea

16/11/2011 21:40:50

bella

47 posts

Battling with nausea
(N/A)

Ok ive been quiet. Why? because im sick of speaking and feeling like im not being listened too...I wanna scream at the top of my lungs, but i still wouldnt be herd..I am sooo over the nausea which is consuming most of my day and the meds i take for it dont do a thing...go to bed feeling sick get up feeling sick , dry reaching...I have a lot of niggling things bothering me . the tremors still annoying ,being investigated.. diareah when not constipated being investigated, back pain and general aches and pains...numbness on the surface of skin at second failed fistula sight. also deep bone like pain at 2nd failed fistula sight, but who cares they dont! appetite? well what can i say ..gone!..Moods over the top again...Why is it that i have to feel worse than i do before anything will be done...I dont want tablets.. i dont want to start dialysis because i feel i will be no better off..Im chucking a tantrum...crying like a baby! why me. yes ive lost it...sometime i wish i wasnt here anymore...and if i say that they will probably lock me away . soi just sit there with my mouth shut! on antidipressants lalalal they aint working anymore and not gunna say anything because DR dont wanna deal with that...all i want is for him to tell me the truth and not exspect me to know everything thing..i give up...thinking about not even bothering going back and just go into emergency when i collapse, which i know is stupid but what is the point of going to an appointment and being told u r still stable..come back 8 to 10wks.,I dont wanna feel any worse , i want to feel better but i gather i have to be just about dead before anything will be done..What is it with the rules! everybody is different..i can only take so much im only human!

19/11/2011 14:55:42

bella

47 posts

Re: Battling with nausea
(N/A)

oh, i did melt down the other night,lol but i tell u i helped letting some steam off.. new meds for nausea seem to be working, thankgod! Hubby gone away for the night so im having some me time,

23/11/2011 13:45:53

steph

6 posts

Re: Battling with nausea
(N/A)

Hi glad your feeling better,you said earlier you have not started dialysis yet you will feel better when you do,it is getting there that is the pain,you will get to the point where you dont feel to bad and your kreatin is about 450 and they will say time to start.It is somthing everyone goes through to some degree at some stage (your problems now) but the thing is not to push the ones who care away,i know its hard but they feel helpless to help its hard for all.This is my second time round for dialysis,i lost a transplant earlier this year,not looking forward to it,although you do get used to it after awhile,one thing new will be doing it from home,anyway untill another time..

23/11/2011 21:47:35

bella

47 posts

Re: Battling with nausea
(N/A)

Hi sorry to hear about youre failed transplant. I just get so frustrated, i have so many things i want to do but just dont have the strenght, get tired really quick ,basic housework just drains me, so i dont feel doing anything else, then the nausea and no appetite drives me crazy..I keep pushing myself to the max then i seem to mentally and physically breakdown, and my temper flares and everybody runs for cover,then i feel guilty and mad at myself ! When i do start hd im gunna learn to do it at home if i get good support from hubby otherwise i will be doing at the main place were the others do it., I dont really want to start and the longer i can hold of the better but i dont want to continuesly keep feeling like crap all the time..Ive always been in control of everything in my life and now its my kidneys have control over what i can do with my life!..
everytime i bring up the topic transplant with family and friends they change the subject like what i have is not real...so now i dont say anything anymore.only on here because i know atleast some of you know what i feel like or am going through.... it will sink in to my friends and family when i start because then they can see its actually really happening..All the best , cheers Bella.

28/11/2011 23:27:11

bella

47 posts

Re: Battling with nausea
(N/A)

I guess im gunna vent again, im out of nausea meds! So much for someone gone check up in a week ! im sooooo over feeling like crap! Massive headache which want go even with the painkillers i take for my back, im not dehydrated ive been keeping a journal so i know whats going in! I want to be taken seriously or why bother even listening to the DRs if they dont listen to me! i feel like im stuck right before they think dialysis is needed , so how long am i gunna feel like this , who knows, i watch what i eat ,when i am hungry..and follow the so called guidelines and recommendations, how can i try and relax when my body keeps reminding me of how crappy i feel every single day! I hate were i look good on the outside and people cannot see how horrible i feel on the inside makes me mad, when someones says "gee you looking well",Im gunna have a lovely christmas......Not!.....

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Battling with n...