hi willis , first off I have to tell you that I thought you were a bloke !!! lol  right up until you talked about 2 pregnancies then I twigged !! DOH !!! lol ...nice to meet you willis , and I still have to say that your renal journey is amazing , crikey the way your going you might just get to die from old age and not renal complications how good would that be , I hope you can continue to keep on without dialisis , I think I have come to realise that every patient in renal failure experiences it in a different way with the symptoms , when I read up on all symptoms that are possible to indicate renal failure I had every one of them I was soooooo toxic,! when I read bellas posts I recognised straight away that she was seriously toxic as i identified with all she was trying to relate to everyone  and what she was going thru , it was like I was reading about me when i was in esrf  it broke my heart I was so distressed for her as I KNEW exactly where she was at and its a 'living hell' poor lady , was soooo relieved when teresa stepped in phew !!!!  I settled after that ......

I lost my kidneys from a disease called systemic scleraderma , its an autoimmune disease ,no cure for it and the only real treatment is chemo drugs/steroids  and unfortunatly I was severly alergic to them  , these drugs  don't  cure it but it can slow up the progression of the disease and since I cant tolerate it my scleroderma has free reign in my body and doing a lot of damage , in a nut shell my immune system is killing me it cant tell the difference between me and a germ ! it damages everything nothing is safe from it you never know which part it will attack next , I also have anothe rsystemic disease called C.R.P.S (chronic regional pain syndrome) its a nerve disease I got that from a needle stick injury , the nurse when drawing blood hit the mediam nerve damage was so severe its now  spread  to both arms and legs , (no cure for crps either) I have other secondary illnesses caused by these first two , one of them is the renal failure , and raynauds syndrome (circulatory damage) crikey I could go on and on with all the secondary stuff but these are the main reasons why I wouldnt qualify for a transplant and why I cant do hemo or PD , so Im running on good luck and good sense of humor and apparently a lot of prayers ...

. have been in stage 4 for about a year now my doc and palitive nurses say I could continue for awhile at this level but things could go bad very quickly hense the palitive care .... fortunatly for me I am not afraid to die , I talk very openly about it and am at peace also , I am enjoying life still but am ever aware that things can go belly up at any time so I make the most of every day .... am symptomatic but not that bad that I cant function just have to pace myself and rest/sleep often ...

I have two kids one in USA and the other one lives four hours away so i dont get to see them often but I have lovely friends and sisters so I am very fortunate all my needs are met so for me at this stage "life is good" life goes on as per normal " oh yeh I am divorced (I dumped that dirt bag 10 years ago he was a womaniser !!! )   lol , absolutly love being on my own , the toilet seat is always down !!! no more sports comontaters voices bellowing in the background and my house is always clean and tidy , sooooo love it ...lol lol .....  talk again soon    hugs  georgie